Are you being realistic?

Recently I was asked to share about a topic in a "realistic" way. It didn't feel good. I had to really sleep over it to figure out why. Too often we say something is "realistic" to justify discouraging ourselves or others and to give up on what we are really called to do.

"Realistic" often points to a worst-case scenario, or a very "safe" course of action (which usually is not even!). "Realistic" is often a reason to stay resigned to the status quo.

Let me share what I have found "realistic" in my life:

• If you never try, you never get a chance
• Most of us underestimate what is possible - I rarely have a client who is trying to achieve something too big.
• Fear keeps us small. Trying to control outcomes is often the reason we are stuck
• The more you cling, the more you get stuck
• Hope, being present in the now, allowing yourself to share your gifts, having a growth mentality, kindness, courage, compassion, a peaceful attitude, the ability to feel and respond to your energy level (including raising it in a healthy way), knowing you are unique and yet the same as everyone else, nurturing love in your life, being in service to something bigger than yourself, and trusting the Flow of Life - these all make for a better time on earth.

I might have left something out, but you get the gist of it.

Hope is realistic. Not knowing what will happen because there are more possibilities you can dream of is realistic. Trusting your ability to dance with your life one step at a time is realistic. Knowing there is no guarantee everything will go your way and managing your risks is realistic. Playing full out for the joy of it is realistic.

Believing your fears and thinking things cannot change, feeding the "that's just how the world is" or "no one really likes their job" or "I will only feel OK when I achieve X" … any of these beliefs are not realistic. It's how you limit your own creativity from helping you see something new and more helpful.

Can you sense when you say to yourself that something is "realistic" as a way to avoid the discomfort of taking the next step?